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The Critical Partner: How to End the Cycle of Criticism and Get the Love You Want, by Michelle Skeen PsyD
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When you are in a relationship with a critical partner—someone who constantly blames you and holds you to unrealistic standards—you may feel picked apart, unworthy, and unhappy. You may start to wonder if you’ll ever be good enough for your partner. This guide can help you repair your relationship by getting to the root of why your partner criticizes you so that you both can build a more loving and supportive partnership.
Based in schema therapy, The Critical Partner can help you gradually change unhealthy relationship patterns and help your partner move beyond the need to criticize. Through a series of assessment quizzes and worksheets, you’ll learn what’s driving your partner’s behavior and what makes you vulnerable to critical attacks. You’ll also discover alternative coping strategies for deflecting criticism and break the long-standing conflicts that keep you from moving forward as a couple. This book will help you get to the root of the problem so that you can repair your relationship and get the love you want.
- Sales Rank: #998958 in Books
- Published on: 2011-11-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .40" w x 5.90" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 176 pages
Review
“Like a good detective novel, Michelle Skeen’s book will help you uncover the mystery of your difficult relationship. After reading this book, you’ll understand how your childhood experiences still affect your life, but more importantly, you’ll learn what you can do to put them behind you and move on.”
—Jeffrey C. Wood, PsyD, psychologist and coauthor of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook
“The couples in successful relationships will tell you that, in order to succeed, partners must learn to work on their relationships. The Critical Partner is the ideal workbook to help couples who are dealing with this uncomfortable dynamic. It will teach them how to do what is necessary to make their relationship successful.”
—Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness for Couples and Emotional Fitness for Intimacy
“The Critical Partner is required reading for anyone living in a relationship where they feel frequently hurt, devalued, or blamed. This book will show you why this happens and give you tools to do something about it. Highly recommended.”
—Matthew McKay, PhD, author of Thoughts and Feelings
“The most challenging issue in the life of the couple can be learning how to express disappointment and hurt without hurting your partner. Michelle Skeen offers an effective framework for understanding and dealing with the ruptures and self-defeating consequences of criticism in a relationship. She carefully applies the thoughtfully designed elements of schema therapy to her keen knowledge of this subject matter and offers her readers easily accessible strategies for transforming painful life patterns into healthy responses.”
—Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, author of Disarming The Narcissist
From the Publisher
In Disarming the Critical Partner, readers use a variety of assessments and checklists to assess the core "schemas," or entrenched patterns, that drive their partners' critical behavior. The book provides tools for identifying the schemas that attract readers into relationships with critical partners, and then clearly presents a variety of powerful schema therapy skills for reducing criticism, improving communication, and ending destructive relationship patterns.
About the Author
Michelle Skeen, PsyD, has studied schema therapy under Matthew McKay and Jeffrey Young. She completed her postdoctoral work at the University of California, San Francisco, and maintains a private practice in San Francisco, CA, where she lives and works. She is coauthor of the forthcoming Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Interpersonal Problems. www.thecriticalpartner.com
Foreword writer Jeffrey Young, PhD, is founder of schema therapy, director of the Schema Therapy Institute of New York, and a faculty member at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. He is author of Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide and Reinventing Your Life.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Beware of Slim Volumes!
By Arthur D. Libera
As they say, "beware of slim volumes"... this book while not a "big book" it is packed with vital information on navigating the complexities of human relationships. Dr. Skeen uses the Schema Theory which was appealing to me in examining my patterns because of my repeating of destructive, self defeating behavior in relationships. Of all the books I have read on relationships, this book clearly helped me identify the root causes of my struggles in relationships. Unlike some books on relationships, this one is not only theory but practice. Dr. Skeen thoughtfully engages the reader with worksheets and exercises which truly engaged me in the process of honestly evaluating my truth and my part in the dynamics of my relationships. The book is very helpful because no matter if you are the "critical partner" or not, there is ample understanding for all parties. The book is not a "blame book", it's a book of deepening understanding, empathy and most importantly healing solutions. Because the Schema Theory is about addressing repeating destructive patterns in relationship that are related to childhood, this work gets to the real causes of our reactions and difficulties in dealing with others, and truly helps the reader create solutions and ultimately healing and healthy choices.
Dr. Michelle Skeen also has a great website which I highly recommend, [...]. The website also has links to her weekly radio show, "Relationships 2.0", which is in limited distribution in California radio markets. I predict Dr. Skeen's work and media exposure is just beginning, keep your eyes and ears tuned to her. She has valuable workable solutions to the challenges of improving relationships. This book is a staple of my self improvement, and I cannot recommend it enough as a path to growth!
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Now things make sense
By R. Williams
The Critical Partner is the kind of book that can truly change how you interact with important people in your life. In this age of disconnection, Michelle guides you to deeper connection with yourself and with your significant others. The examples and worksheets are incredibly helpful. Give yourself time to read and absorb this book, it's definitely worth it! R. Williams, coauthor of The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Relationship Changing Advise
By Karen Nicks
This book is an important new resource not only for people in relationships with critical partners but anyone struggling with a critical co-worker, friend or family member. Skeen has written a well-organized, easy to read book with helpful examples and worksheets at every step of the way. She shows an extremely effective way for a couple motivated towards change to move forward in a positive way. I would recommend this book to anyone hurting from the sting of criticism.
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